And the best part is...they are Hokie Colors...so how could they be bad?
Ahhh now I just need an umbrella drink, a nanny and a crew of carpenters to put my house back together again!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
My Mother's Day Present
OK so I was remiss in the midst of my flooded house to not mention that I got a very nice mothers day gift. This year in lieu of lovely shell jewelry and tissue paper pins, I got these!
And the best part is...they are Hokie Colors...so how could they be bad?
Ahhh now I just need an umbrella drink, a nanny and a crew of carpenters to put my house back together again!
And the best part is...they are Hokie Colors...so how could they be bad?
Ahhh now I just need an umbrella drink, a nanny and a crew of carpenters to put my house back together again!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Gods Must be Angry
So this morning I felt like I was totally on top of things. I felt like mom of the year. I gave my kids cereal on paper plates since we have no kitchen due to the flood, thus no water…so dry cereal it was.
I had called my sister to drop the youngest and oldest off at their prospective schools, my neighbor agreed to put my middle one on the bus, all so that I could get to my meeting at 8:15. I am running out the door in my girl clothes shoving everything into the car, a change of clothes, a pear, and all the kids’ lunches, and yes I even remembered all the kids.
I pull out of the driveway and notice that as I am going my car seems to be dragging half of the rock with it…
Huh.
All of the sudden it dawns on me…this is not the way that my car normally feels… it is now 7:45 and I am getting perilously close to my deadline to get to my meeting on time.
I get out of the car only to see that the back tire is completely flat. After a long string of unmentionable things came out of my mouth… I just sighed and looked up and said:
“SERIOUSLY?”
(Thanks to Greys Anatomy it probably has a new entry in Webster’s.)
Clearly I have angered the Gods, I can only hope that perhaps I have started to pay off my debt…Because really I am totally expecting to wake up tomorrow looking up at the beautiful sky about to rain because a wind storm took off my roof during the night!
I had called my sister to drop the youngest and oldest off at their prospective schools, my neighbor agreed to put my middle one on the bus, all so that I could get to my meeting at 8:15. I am running out the door in my girl clothes shoving everything into the car, a change of clothes, a pear, and all the kids’ lunches, and yes I even remembered all the kids.
I pull out of the driveway and notice that as I am going my car seems to be dragging half of the rock with it…
Huh.
All of the sudden it dawns on me…this is not the way that my car normally feels… it is now 7:45 and I am getting perilously close to my deadline to get to my meeting on time.
I get out of the car only to see that the back tire is completely flat. After a long string of unmentionable things came out of my mouth… I just sighed and looked up and said:
“SERIOUSLY?”
(Thanks to Greys Anatomy it probably has a new entry in Webster’s.)
Clearly I have angered the Gods, I can only hope that perhaps I have started to pay off my debt…Because really I am totally expecting to wake up tomorrow looking up at the beautiful sky about to rain because a wind storm took off my roof during the night!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
It's Raining It's Pouring the Old Man is...
Pissed to find that it’s raining and pouring in his basement!Ahhhh, the happiness of homeownership! Friday morning I woke up feeling a little overheated…”huh” I thought to myself. When suddenly my oldest daughter runs up stairs and says…
“Daddy, you need to get down stairs, there is water in the kitchen floor.”
Ok so I am thinking, something leaked…no biggie…I look at my windows…in my bedroom…upstairs…and notice that there is sort of a dew covering them on the inside.
“Huh” I think to myself.
I walk down stairs and see even more dew all over the insides of the windows downstairs, and that there is a certain…oh rain foresty quality in the air…
“Huh” I think…
Then I walked into the kitchen…the “Huh,” turned to “Holy S%$^#”
There was literally inches of water from one end of the house to the other…then what I am hearing starts to register…rain…Although outside was looking to be a beautiful blue sky, I heard rain…in my basement!
I went down the stairs to find that the floor beneath that half of my house was literally raining into my basement.
The culprit? An overactive dishwasher that clearly was trying to prove its manhood to the rest of the appliances. It had been set to run at 11 that night…and ran until 6 that morning gushing hot water into the downstairs of our house until saturating the floor so much that it leaked through and RAINED in our finished basement.
Yes, I am now questioning my use of the word apocalyptic in my last post.
“Daddy, you need to get down stairs, there is water in the kitchen floor.”
Ok so I am thinking, something leaked…no biggie…I look at my windows…in my bedroom…upstairs…and notice that there is sort of a dew covering them on the inside.
“Huh” I think to myself.
I walk down stairs and see even more dew all over the insides of the windows downstairs, and that there is a certain…oh rain foresty quality in the air…
“Huh” I think…
Then I walked into the kitchen…the “Huh,” turned to “Holy S%$^#”
There was literally inches of water from one end of the house to the other…then what I am hearing starts to register…rain…Although outside was looking to be a beautiful blue sky, I heard rain…in my basement!
I went down the stairs to find that the floor beneath that half of my house was literally raining into my basement.
The culprit? An overactive dishwasher that clearly was trying to prove its manhood to the rest of the appliances. It had been set to run at 11 that night…and ran until 6 that morning gushing hot water into the downstairs of our house until saturating the floor so much that it leaked through and RAINED in our finished basement.
Yes, I am now questioning my use of the word apocalyptic in my last post.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Mowing the Lawn With Girls and Preschoolers....
The other day I had to mow the lawn again. First of all I find it slightly apocalyptic that I am even having to mow my lawn in April and May in Maine, but regardless of how odd being in a tank top in the beginning of May was making me feel, it had to be done.
I use this term, lawn, lightly because I believe that a lawn consists of lush green grass….ours is lush green clover, with lots of yellow dandelions dotting the landscape. And the moles have made lots of mounds where the dead patches are from the grubs…you get the picture…mowing is really more trimming the crabgrass and wild flowers than mowing…
This has become a battle between my husband and I, as he is from the south…the land of manicured lawns, and football games in the front yard. I on the other hand had a family that was akin to hermits and had big trees growing right up to the house, so lawn was more…well…pine needle covering.
As I was going over and over a patch of oh…400 dandelions, I looked up to find my daughter blowing the dandelion offspring onto my lawn to seed even more of the demonic flower that is taking over my yard. “Making a wish,” she yelled to inform me, incase I didn’t know what she was up to.
It was then, as I pictures all the jars, plastic sippy cups, bowls and pots full of these beautiful flowers that have been sacrificial offerings to the mommy god by a little boy who quite honestly needs to be sacrificing something to continue living, that I realized this was an exercise in futility.
I realize that I will not win the lawn battle…not with out waging a major chemical warfare, which frankly is just not really my style. So I will just continue to find containers for my flower offerings, make wishes on the baby lawn killers when I am asked to, and continue to expand my garden into the entire yard…until my husband kills me, or the kids stop wanting to give me flowers, or move out… Until then, I will have just gaze on my bluewhites, dandelions, crabgrass, and brown patches with a sense of defeat, and enjoy the sunshine on a nice May day.
I use this term, lawn, lightly because I believe that a lawn consists of lush green grass….ours is lush green clover, with lots of yellow dandelions dotting the landscape. And the moles have made lots of mounds where the dead patches are from the grubs…you get the picture…mowing is really more trimming the crabgrass and wild flowers than mowing…
This has become a battle between my husband and I, as he is from the south…the land of manicured lawns, and football games in the front yard. I on the other hand had a family that was akin to hermits and had big trees growing right up to the house, so lawn was more…well…pine needle covering.
As I was going over and over a patch of oh…400 dandelions, I looked up to find my daughter blowing the dandelion offspring onto my lawn to seed even more of the demonic flower that is taking over my yard. “Making a wish,” she yelled to inform me, incase I didn’t know what she was up to.
It was then, as I pictures all the jars, plastic sippy cups, bowls and pots full of these beautiful flowers that have been sacrificial offerings to the mommy god by a little boy who quite honestly needs to be sacrificing something to continue living, that I realized this was an exercise in futility.
I realize that I will not win the lawn battle…not with out waging a major chemical warfare, which frankly is just not really my style. So I will just continue to find containers for my flower offerings, make wishes on the baby lawn killers when I am asked to, and continue to expand my garden into the entire yard…until my husband kills me, or the kids stop wanting to give me flowers, or move out… Until then, I will have just gaze on my bluewhites, dandelions, crabgrass, and brown patches with a sense of defeat, and enjoy the sunshine on a nice May day.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Invisible Pee Monster
Now one would think that this was a Henry story, because conceivably, this is his type of imagination, but lo, it is not. This was the invention of a little 4 year old girl down the road...who may just be Henrys soul mate…
For the first time I let the girls ride their bikes across the road into the being built neighborhood. After about 30 minutes the freaky mom gene started working so I walked down to see where they were.
A little 4 year old girl, whom I have met on occasion, was walking with her cousin down the street. I asked if they had seen the girls, they had, so I decided to walk down to the little pond to see if the tad pole were out yet. The little girl looked at her cousin, dropped her hand, grabbed mine and said “I am going with her”
As we walked and she talked (I have forgotten how verbose little girls are.) We came across two plant pot looking things on the side of the road and she proceeded to tell me:
Her: “Don’t touch those, those are full of pee.”
Me: “Pee? Are you sure? Wait…how do you know?”
Her: Quite matter of factly, “Because the invisible pee monster left them.”
Me: Slightly amused, “The invisible pee monster?”
Her: “Yes, he is invisible, and he is trying to take over the world with his powerful pee. He sneaks around and pees when we don’t see him…but you can’t see him because he is invisible…except I can see him because I have super seeing eyes.”
Me: “OOooohhh, well I don’t have super seeing eyes because I can’t see him.”
Her: “Nope I have super seeing eyes because I am saving the world from his pee…”
Now folks, if this ain’t a match for Henry I don’t know who is!
For the first time I let the girls ride their bikes across the road into the being built neighborhood. After about 30 minutes the freaky mom gene started working so I walked down to see where they were.
A little 4 year old girl, whom I have met on occasion, was walking with her cousin down the street. I asked if they had seen the girls, they had, so I decided to walk down to the little pond to see if the tad pole were out yet. The little girl looked at her cousin, dropped her hand, grabbed mine and said “I am going with her”
As we walked and she talked (I have forgotten how verbose little girls are.) We came across two plant pot looking things on the side of the road and she proceeded to tell me:
Her: “Don’t touch those, those are full of pee.”
Me: “Pee? Are you sure? Wait…how do you know?”
Her: Quite matter of factly, “Because the invisible pee monster left them.”
Me: Slightly amused, “The invisible pee monster?”
Her: “Yes, he is invisible, and he is trying to take over the world with his powerful pee. He sneaks around and pees when we don’t see him…but you can’t see him because he is invisible…except I can see him because I have super seeing eyes.”
Me: “OOooohhh, well I don’t have super seeing eyes because I can’t see him.”
Her: “Nope I have super seeing eyes because I am saving the world from his pee…”
Now folks, if this ain’t a match for Henry I don’t know who is!
Friday, April 23, 2010
A Little Scary
So the other night we were doing the all American thing and eating fast food the other night. I know, I know, I am sure that all my arteries were screaming shut as I took my first bite but you know? I had taken 4 hours to dig out my middle child’s closet...if you need a reminder of what that is like I am simply just happy I came out alive and didn’t find neighborhood children lost in there.
So we are sitting there, my husband walks up to get some straws and Henry gets a devilish look on his face and says:"Hey I have a plan!"
Underestimating the grudge that Henry seems to have against my husband right now for no apparent reason was my first mistake, but busting out laughing was the second one since now he is telling everyone and I am concerned that perhaps people are putting him on a watch list.
Henrys Plan:
"When we get home if dad takes a long time to come inside....lets build a cage and catch him when we walks in the door. Then we can duct tape the cage to the ceiling waaaaayyyy up high until forever."
Silence falls over the table...with the exception of my cell phone dialing the psychologist I now have on speed dial...
So we are sitting there, my husband walks up to get some straws and Henry gets a devilish look on his face and says:"Hey I have a plan!"
Underestimating the grudge that Henry seems to have against my husband right now for no apparent reason was my first mistake, but busting out laughing was the second one since now he is telling everyone and I am concerned that perhaps people are putting him on a watch list.
Henrys Plan:
"When we get home if dad takes a long time to come inside....lets build a cage and catch him when we walks in the door. Then we can duct tape the cage to the ceiling waaaaayyyy up high until forever."
Silence falls over the table...with the exception of my cell phone dialing the psychologist I now have on speed dial...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The End of an Era
I don't know why I get attached to inanimate objects...it really doesn't make sense other than the fact that I am maybe 5 degrees off of half way normal. What ever the reason, I simply seem to personalize everything around me. I have since I was a kid.
I can remember having 1000 stuffed animals on my bed, because if I only picked one, the other ones would be staring at me from across the room with hurt feelings. I would feel bad for them so I would go get them and put them on my bed too.
I remember when I got married my parents gave us their old couch. It was canary yellow…and weighed 8000 pounds…and was HUGE…yet, when we had to leave it behind on our first move because it was bigger than the place we were renting…(seriously, it was) I got all teary and thought about how the couch was feeling to be left behind by the family that had sat on it for 20 some odd years…
I have always had a way of attaching feelings to things that, well…really don’t have them…trees, houses, movie ticket stubs, old goggles being retired.
So yesterday Jamie wisely didn’t tell me before he left for work that he was exchanging our old Explorer (nicknamed “the Exploder” because of its tendency to leave Jamie stranded…the fact that it had 230,000 miles on it probably had something to do with it too.)
He told me while he while he was at work, and I could not make a pilgrimage to the “Exploder’s” side to reminisce about how excited we were to get a car with a CD player, or how it was the used car we bought when Marshall was a little baby, or how it had brought Caroline home from the hospital for the first time, or how when we got our puppy she was so little she couldn’t even hop from the passenger seat to the drivers seat.
I guess it’s good to just rip the Band-Aid off when you have a wife that lives in Narnia where all things talk and have feelings.
However….I am just excited about having a car that won’t make that deafening humming noise when I drop Marshall off at school on the days that I happen to be driving Jamie car! I had to leave that parking lot behind big sunglasses and a hat many a day. (I am pretty sure Marshall is scarred from those mornings too!)
So out with the old and in with the new….just this once!
I can remember having 1000 stuffed animals on my bed, because if I only picked one, the other ones would be staring at me from across the room with hurt feelings. I would feel bad for them so I would go get them and put them on my bed too.
I remember when I got married my parents gave us their old couch. It was canary yellow…and weighed 8000 pounds…and was HUGE…yet, when we had to leave it behind on our first move because it was bigger than the place we were renting…(seriously, it was) I got all teary and thought about how the couch was feeling to be left behind by the family that had sat on it for 20 some odd years…
I have always had a way of attaching feelings to things that, well…really don’t have them…trees, houses, movie ticket stubs, old goggles being retired.
So yesterday Jamie wisely didn’t tell me before he left for work that he was exchanging our old Explorer (nicknamed “the Exploder” because of its tendency to leave Jamie stranded…the fact that it had 230,000 miles on it probably had something to do with it too.)
He told me while he while he was at work, and I could not make a pilgrimage to the “Exploder’s” side to reminisce about how excited we were to get a car with a CD player, or how it was the used car we bought when Marshall was a little baby, or how it had brought Caroline home from the hospital for the first time, or how when we got our puppy she was so little she couldn’t even hop from the passenger seat to the drivers seat.
I guess it’s good to just rip the Band-Aid off when you have a wife that lives in Narnia where all things talk and have feelings.
However….I am just excited about having a car that won’t make that deafening humming noise when I drop Marshall off at school on the days that I happen to be driving Jamie car! I had to leave that parking lot behind big sunglasses and a hat many a day. (I am pretty sure Marshall is scarred from those mornings too!)
So out with the old and in with the new….just this once!
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