Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Who Did I Make Mad...

...in the world of technical support in a past life? Because clearly I am on some sort of black list with Verizon.

Now mind you, I am on the phone with them for hours that I will never get back because I volunteered to set up a Church Website. One would think that since it is like a nice Churchy thing it would go easily... Nope... apparently this is my test in patience and humility.

After a few weeks of hopeless emails back and forth, I finally got some time to sit down and call technical support. After being on the phone with Beth* for hours, while she did everything that I said I had already done, to no avail, she told me that it was a problem that she couldn’t solve, and I had to call another branch of Technical Support. She left me with the reassuring: "We really aren't very busy so you shouldn't have to wait very long," and to call her back afterward if nothing else happens. I am thinking great! So I call the number she gave me...

This is where I am picturing a bunch of guys playing cards at a table in the work room...

Ring Ring "Ahhh just let them going to the 8000 options then we can answer it.”

So after I press the 1 for English, and then go through 10 menus of
"Do you need help? Press 1"

"Are you sure you need help? Press 1"

"Are you really, really sure that you still need help? Press 1"

"We have been having technical difficulties in your area, we are aware of this and are currently working on the situation, do you still need help? Press 1"

"We are going to make you wait until your hair turns gray and your children are grown and gone...do you still need help? Press 1"

As my one pressing digit was getting more and more feisty about pressing the daggon button, I finally hear:

"You have indicated that you still are in need of Technical Support, please hold while the next available person can assist you, your wait will be less than 5 minutes..."

Which really meant:
Despite all our warnings, you still think that you need help, so eventually we will find the most condescending, self important, computer geek to answer the phone. But he is busy playing cards with the other unhelpful people so he will answer your call when he finally decides to schlep over to the help phone. Until then, please enjoy our music that we have conveniently put half way on a station, so that you can enjoy parts of the songs, with an occasional ear numbing static. We also have a loose wire in the radio, so it will be very quiet, then when we come on to tell you it will only be a few more minutes; it will blow your eardrum out. OH, and just to make it clear, less than a 5 minute wait, is measured in Dog Years, so it is more like, oh….maybe 10 hours. Enjoy your time on your phone, are you really sure you still need help?

Yeah, the website still isn’t up…only my blood pressure. I will have to try again another day when I have some free Valium laying around. I will say it again; those are moments of my life that I will NEVER get back.

*Her name has been changed because while I am fustrated, she is a really nice lady and has been very patient...so I can't be but so mean about her.

1 comment:

The Rabid Outdoorsman said...

LOL . . . well at least Verizon is leaving Maine . . . just don't get on Fairpoints black list!