Sunday, June 29, 2008

a Link

Loved this, because, as I sit here before everyone wakes up and look forward to the day, I read this on Mother Reader, a blog I love to read. (Plus, she is from VA, gotta love her!)

Philosophical Sunday

I have this image thing. I have always been irritated with people who are constantly trying to portray a certain image because they are trying to be something they aren’t. Doing what ever the “in” thing is at the moment and trying to attain some standing in society through putting us all on. But this morning I started to think, don’t we all do that to some extent?

I majored in Sustainable Development and Agriculture in college; this was back when I wanted to save the world, nay, back when I still thought I could save the world. So this whole movement to whole foods and supporting your local agriculture is actually really exciting me, and getting my juices flowing. But there is a huge part of me (mainly that chip that resides on my shoulder) that doesn’t want to admit it.

It has become the “in” thing to do, and innately, I seem to run and hide from that kind of thing. Maybe it is the rebel that has always lived in me. I grew up not wanting to be just the same as everyone else, I wanted to be different. I did the whole black combat boot, “black phase” thing, (before there was a goth cool thing, trust me, I was not cool), then when I went to college and everyone was doing the yuppie thing, I did the flannel shirt and “naturific” thing, and even as a mom, I am always trying to buck the system, and not be considered “one of them”…(and to be honest, I am not really sure what that means, or that it would be a bad thing to begin with.)

I realized that sometimes we care more about out image than we do about the things that really matter. We are so caught up in portraying something with our image that the only way that we help people or do anything, is if it is going to further our “status” or the image that we are desperately trying to attain. But an image is just that. When you step away from that mirror, it no longer exists, and what you are left with is YOU. All the posturing and self importance in the world isn’t going to make that reflection a lasting thing, or change who the real person is behind that reflection.

So in my insistence not to do the “in” thing because I don’t want to be seen as just trying to fit in…what does that say about me? What am I trying to get to look back at me in the mirror?

I guess as I sprint toward my mid-life (and with my health, have probably well passed it and not realized it!) I am slowly starting to realize that my desire to not leave this earth until it is better for my having been here is my goal…and who the hell cares what someone else’s baggage and image attaining desires are? In the end, I have to turn away from that mirror, and I want to like who I am stuck with…not care whether someone else does or not.

I know, I know, I don't know WHAT was in my coffee this morning!

Friday, June 27, 2008


I thought I was going to pee when I watched this...But I will warn you, it is seriously foul language, so only watch it if it won't offend you...if it will offend you, don't watch the whole thing and then write to me and tell me how offensive it have the power of the you have been warned...but it really was funny...

Thanks to She's So Ghetto for the link

A Cute Little Story for a Friday Afternoon

This week has been an insane week. One of those weeks where you have a meeting every night of the week...which is kind of interesting since I don't even work in my career what the heck? I am volunteering to have my life be a running around mess...this is definitely something that I have to think about...But I do smile when I think of this story so I am going to pass it along.

My father in law who, for the record, still visits the barber regularly to trim the sides of his hair and to make sure that there isn't any major fuzz action happening where it shouldn’t, was sitting in front of Caroline...being the sweetie pie that she is, she was rubbing the top of his head lovingly.

Suddenly, a shocked and astounded Caroline proclaimed loudly: “Papa! Your hair is growing back!”

I feel fairly confident telling this story because I am pretty sure that “papa” laughed harder than the rest of us. I would not however tell this story if it was my husband, who is just now figuring out that he is going bald. This is due to an unfortunate incident with a security camera at a Wendy’s.

(He was looking at the security camera TV, observing the bald spot on a man in front of him, when in a face draining moment, he realized that it was his own head he was observing in the camera.)

Now he is a little sensitive about the whole I am going to not go there...because I fear the retaliation, there are PLENTY of things that I don't particularly like to admit are happening to my body...and let me tell ya, it ain't all pretty that is FOR SURE!

Have a good weekend to all!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

More Scenes from the Garden

I am looking forward to having veggies!

I am generally not a totally negative person, but I am terribly pessimistic when it comes to gardening in the spring. I first plant my seeds or seedlings, thinking that they are doomed to be eaten or otherwise killed by weather, global warming, neglect, aliens, or any other possible excuse I can find.

So when it comes to be late June, I am always elated every morning when I go to the garden to see if there is anything else coming up, and lo and behold, there are actual plants surviving in my midst!

It never fails, every year I start the season grumping and cussing, and by late June I am jumping for joy and taking endless pictures of my garden's progress, (and then boring all my friends, family, and fauna with showing them off).

I think at some point the Garden Gods are going to send blight down to my raised beds just to shut me I had better start being more positive and saying my thanks when I put those new plants and seeds in the ground.

So here you go, my update on my garden progress, below you will find: a squash flower, beginning broccoli, my first green tomatoes, Potato flowers, and pea flowers (which I happen to think are just beautiful!)

Letter of Information

Dear Mr. Lowery,

I just thought I would inform you, that for the 100 millionth billionth thousandth time, you left clean Tupperware on the stove for someone else to put away…it got dirty before I realized it was piled there, as I spilled something…having to then, wash it again wasting our precious, albeit toxic, water supply in our well. Not only have you damaged the environment by wasting water, which has clearly been tormenting Marshall in her earth stewardship pursuits, but if I have to put away Tupperware that you have left on the counter one more time, I am going to put it away in a place that will not be very comfortable for your commute the next day….CAPISCE?

AND…for future reference, WENDY’S is not an alternative to real food all week just because I am working and have meetings every night…try to expand your repertoire of culinary skills….there are chicken breasts that take 10 minutes to thaw in hot water, I do it all the time, there are hot dogs and frozen hamburgers in the basement, (which I hear from the kids are one of your "Chef Jamie Specialties"), there are pork chops, there is pasta….those are easy enough, and perhaps, you may someday, even move on to vegetables….because I hear that salad is rather easy to throw together in a dish!!!!!!!!! All this would be a nice diversion from the Saturated Fat and Corn Syrup laden specialties of Wendy’s…

I love you very much…just thought I would give you a heads up that might make your life a little easier if not more enjoyable in the near future! (Not to mention prevent you from a date at the local ER with Dr. Buttocks and his forceps!)

Hope you are having a splendiferous day!

**Thus far he has declined to respond...I am assuming that the formal warning may have fallen on deaf ears...But in my defense, this was far more suitable way to address the situation at hand then the "screaming until my head popped off" way that I originally considered...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What Happens When You Have Two Older Sisters...

Sometimes you want to play a little dress up and then play with your remote control tractors...sometimes you want to be a lion...sometimes the best you can do is a cat suit with a fuzzy tail and a remote control with no batteries, and you just have to lean back and look cool about it...

Yeah I know, even Jamie called him "Heff" this should see him in his is a little frightening. But I have to say, Jamie has certainly loosened up a little with him being the third kid...He even allowed him to go out for ice cream in this getup...He didn't let him out of the car....but he went out for ice steps...just baby steps.

Life In Our World

OK so we were headed to karate yesterday, and I saw this crawling up into my neighbors yard. We see them every year, but I rarely get to get I thought I would share them.

Yeah, it kinda DOES make you want to swim in our pond doesn't it?

I like this one, because she/he? was clearly smiling as though she was thinking..."Get a little closer lady, because the minute you do, the camera and your prominent nose are MINE....come on....just a little nibble???" GQ Turtle right there if I ever saw one...even has some snail accessories!

The last one I will include, was, well, totally PIE world. There was some serious unadulterated snail action going on, on the back of this dudes shell. Man, it was like a snail nudest beach. Most of them didn't even have their shells...and I am not sure, but I am fairly positive there was some serious spineless romping going on. so I thought i would share, because, well you know, life just can't be too interesting to pass up sexy snail shots on the back of a snapping turtle...*

*I am fully aware that my picture taking privileges may be seriously taken away if I don't stop with my mindless snapping of nature...I can't help it, it is a sad, sad addiction...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Present Time, Present Time...

Open the Present and See What's Inside!

I know, I know, a bit anticlimactic, but I was thrilled when the mail lady beeped for me in my driveway!
(I do the anthem thingy where you track your exercise and then they send you ridiculously cheap things as a reward! But I figure since its only sweat I am paying with, its cool.) So I ordered the Grill and Go! I am looking forward to some charcoal burgers at the beach this week! YEEEHAAWWW.

An Abundance of Katherines

A quote from the book: (Bits and pieces, pieced together…I know, I am an editors nightmare, but I tried to make it make sense.)

"If the future is forever, he thought, then eventually it will swallow us all up."... "The future will erase everything--there's no level of fame or genius that allows you to transcend oblivion. The infinite future makes that kind of mattering impossible."

“But there's another way. There are stories."... "And he found himself thinking that maybe stories don't just make us matter to each other - maybe they're also the only way to the infinite mattering he'd been after for so long.

And Collin thought: Because...even if it is a dumb story, telling it changes other people just the slightest little bit, just as living the story changes me. An infinitesimal change. And that infinitesimal change ripples outward - ever smaller but everlasting. I will get forgotten, but the stories will last. And so we all matter, maybe less than a lot, but always more than none."

Those of you who know me, (especially those who have known me the longest) must realize when I got to this page and read it, how big I smiled.

My whole life is full of stories, half of why I write my blog is because I believe honestly, that I was about to burst from story overload. I have been writing a journal since I was in second grade; a sort of desperate attempt to fling my stories out in to the world like some sort of wildflower seeds, that in some remote way, I hoped would take root somewhere. Somehow, I don’t believe that it ever mattered to me where they were, or who, cultivated them. It was that I told them. And to this day, I get no greater pleasure than hearing the relentless teasing about my antics, my plays, and my characters from my youth...because, well, they are my stories, and clearly, they are living on. (Especially Juanita, my pseudo-self in middle school. But that is just a whole OTHER story, for another day!)

Yeee-Haw, a good book. My girls will most certainly be reading it when they get a little older...I kind of have to get to the birds and bees first...Not that there is much of it, but somehow, I think I should probably go over that instead of depending on "back of the bus learning."

Friday, June 20, 2008

Melrose Place Author

Jossie Bisset of Melrose Place turned author??? Terrifying..But I will let Leila tell you from her blog.

However, I love the interview about a movie on lifetime called "The Other Woman."

Um...isn't that what ALL their movies are titled?

That or "I Fell in Love with Him Before I Knew He Was an Evil Hit Man, and Now I am Going to Jail for Killing Him?" I IS Lifetime...was it really news that she was doing that show??????

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Found in our Garden

This was found in our Potato Patch...I thought it was pretty amazing...and figured I would torture you with more of my gardening photos.

Even more cool though, check out its blue antennae and legs...I thought it was a really pretty moth.

Am I Losing It?

My cool that is…not temper, but my ultimate coolness, which many may argue, I never really had, so I shouldn’t be mourning its loss.

Last night was a night out. I went with my sister…to…The Christmas Tree Shops. Yes, folks, that was my night out. We got together and went shopping. In my defense, I did find some cool curtains, and a GIANT coffee mug. (Clearly I need a giant coffee mug that holds practically an entire pot…oh did I forget to tell you that school is out?)

We decided that we needed to have a girls’ night out. Dana couldn’t come because her husband was going to a night meeting…so my sister and I just went shopping. NOT that Dana is this wild party girl who forces us to go to bars to swill wine or anything…she probably would have loved to go shopping…I want to be clear on that before she hurls a big empty at me! (She is laughing right now; I promise…she has a good sense of humor…right?????)

But I laugh, because those of you that know me, know that most of the time, I am not a big shopper. I am one of those annoying people who put lots of things in my cart, and then take them out one by one as I decide that I cannot afford to waste money on myself. (This was a real turn on for my husband, who can safely hand me any credit card in the world, and know it is safe. Unless there is a giant sale on gum or something.)

I have to tell you though; I would do what we did last night, any day of the week. It was quiet; I was able to mercilessly make fun of pink flamingos with spring necks, and garden ornaments that looked like they were even embarrassed to have been made.

I was able to have a fun conversation with an adult, and I haven’t been shopping with out bribing with donuts, pulling toys off shelves to “pretend to buy, but really only be placating,” or had to repeat the words “Almost done” one million thousand billion times in I don’t know how long. (That is a real number…any mother can tell you that!)

I had such a ball; we wandered in the land of useless stuff that you are convinced you need, for an hour and a half… I bought stuff…for myself…and then celebrated with a Margarita.

I now realize why my mom turned into a shopper after having kids. She lost her Cool too.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Its All Perspective

Henry had waffles this morning with syrup...(Yup refined sugar) and got I handed him a "Wet One" to wipe his hands on. Of course he (and I) never took it off the counter.

Thrilled Henry found it at lunch, (dried of course) and excitedly exclaimed
"Hey MOMMY It made toilet paper!"

Its all in how you look at things isn't it?

Are We Dinosaurs?

Last night as I was tossing and turning and eventually having scary weird dreams...I mean the scary weird where you wake up and really take stock in the room around you, to make sure that you really weren't where your screwed up brain was just telling you, you were.

I thought of something. Now mind you at 3 in the morning, this seems rather logical…and this morning when I told Jamie and Marshall, my daughter was all “Oh no, you aren’t going to write about this on your blog are you?” (Clearly embarrassed of my intelligent theories of the world around us.)

Well, that my friends, is a Double Dog Dare in the Pie Kingdom. So here it is: Pie’s Theory of Dinosaur and Human Likeness.

As I lay in bed, I started to think about dinosaurs, (How I got there is a whole other story I won’t go into, “Thank Goodness” you say.) They started out really small…and as their kind went on, they got bigger and bigger and bigger…eventually we came to the era of the giants. I mean heck, during the Triassic Period they were just kind of run of the mill, weird looking reptiles…no big thing. By the end of the Jurassic Period and as the Cretaceous Period started, there were some big dudes. Not to mention the Gigantosaurus. (I only mention that one because Caroline was telling me that it was bigger than Tyrannosaurus Rex and I thought it was a funny name…like something out of a comic book.)

TO THE POINT: People have gotten a heck of a lot bigger in time too. I mean, I think my 5’ 7” frame was probably a tall man a few hundred years ago, and the fact that my girls are projected to be above 6 feet tall, is telling me something. How large people are getting, has actually changed the face of sports, cars, door jams…the works. I can remember visiting a historic village where I barely made it through the doors they were so short…and folks, I am not all that tall. And Jamie? Well he can't even GO in the old houses around here with out ducking, and fearing a fatal ceiling fan accident.

Now the conclusion I came to at 3:00 AM: A huge climate change made the giant dino’s go extinct…hmmmmmm Global Warming… You can come to your own conclusions…but I am wondering if this could be why I have a giant ass, and I now fear tornadoes IN MAINE! *

Yeah, OK, now that it is on paper, I can see why Jamie was hesitant to have me put this on the web… BUT seriously…this is what goes through my insomniac brain.

* My biology teacher uncle is shaking his head in shame right now...I WAS HALF ASLEEP, IT MADE SENSE THEN

Monday, June 16, 2008

Could Scott go on a Vacation?

This is for my sister, Not that she lives in a creepy mansion, but perhaps, these houses have friends for Scott to go visit????

Views from the Vegetables

I thought I would update on the gardening know, since this time of year I have to get up really early to write my blog, as I am generally so obsessed the rest of the day with training climbers, setting up trellises, and wandering aimlessly analyzing the mm of growth that took place since the day before.

I do have a bit of a redneck looking garden, I am sure that my neighbors are all "nice freaking warped wood stands..." and wondering what kind of neighbor they might have. But here's the thing, when I am sucking down fresh apples and making fresh salsa out of my front yard, I will be like "yeah, who is the ugly gardener now????" But until then? I am all "you better watch your dogs because I am going to lock them in my basement for the rest of the season if they walk in my garden again."

I know I haven't strung my gorgeous trellises yet...I WILL...But we went from 5 beds to 11 beds this year, so...well I have been a little busy.

Only in the Internet World part Deux

OK, so My friendly Brits came by for munchies and a drink the night after I met them...We really really enjoyed them...but I will let her tell it...

Because now you see, it is not only our love of Agatha Raisin, but also our ability to be completely self deprecating while complementing someone else! That is a very special quality we share!

We are so glad to have made their acquaintance and hope to run into them on our travels...or perhaps they WILL decide to buy a place in New England someday.

Friday, June 13, 2008

This is what happens....

...When an aunt babysits!

Henry and his cousin were playing dress-up in my girls' room, and well... this is what they picked out to wear! Interesting...somehow I think I am raising Billy Elliot*. I have already scheduled therapy for Jamie prior to him seeing the pictures.

*For those of you that have not seen this, it is a really good movie!

Another Lesson Learned...

...Along with never frying bacon in the nude, (which I fail to see WHY anyone ever learned such a lesson in the first place,) a close second should be: never sauté asparagus in a sleeveless shirt.

Especially when you forgot that you were heating up the Olive Oil and it was on the stove for oh, about 25 minutes "heating" and the Asparagus is wet. (For those of you who may not understand the properties of Oil and Water? THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.

My children's ears are scarred for life, and I am pretty positive that I will get a call home from a teacher saying "Where did your child learn to say such things?"

I believe that I may have sounded very much like the father in "A Christmas Story"* fixing the furnace...only it was real life, so my grumblings were audible, and yes, Henry did scream "Shit" and then giggle. NICE PARENTING!

*A Side Bar: OK I liked the movie...but Seriously?????I think that may border on stalking...I mean, at least I only stalk Brits in New England!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

My First Harvest

My first harvest of radishes is in. these are the two prettiest...had a worm in one...agggghhhh

So those of you who have been reading know that I am kind of, well, and agricultural enthusiast. So as you can guess, It makes me just smile and turns my day good to know that soon I will have all sorts of goodies in the garden!

Of course reading the Animal Vegetable Miracle, isn't helping my enthusiasm, and Jamie is starting to panic every time I meet him in the driveway because he knows it means a jaunt through the garden so I can "show" him something. Which generally means, the 1 mm of growth from a carrot or a cabbage...or to show him that I REALLY NEED TO GET MY TRELLISES UP.

I sort of think of gardening as Jamie's Nascar. When we first met, I was all "oh yeah, lets go to a race, it will be fun" and in college that was fine because I had enough beer or bourbon to keep it interesting. Plus we would actually GO to a race. Which when you are there, there is enough to look at to keep in me...there is ALOT to look at, much of which , should never be seen in public, but there it is flapping about in broad daylight! After a while though, we stopped going to the races and resorted to watching them on TV, and I kind of got honest and allowed to how it might be more fun to pluck my nose hairs for the afternoon then sit on the couch on a pretty day and watch cars go around in a circle. Go figure.

Jamie was the same way about gardening... in the beginning he was all "I'm a Northern Necker, I grew up around farms," Mr Agricultural Engineer and all...He would diligently help me rototill and hoe, and plant. But then it came time to actually weed, or harvest. And I would turn around and Jamie was no where to be found. Now when ever I mention the word garden, he gets this glazed over look and starts reaching for the bourbon. (Perhaps we need to evaluate our coping mechanisms...)

The fact remains I love him anyway, and we just have to agree to not always enjoy the same things, or any of the same things...well other than 24 and bad reality TV.

But YEAH I have radishes, so it all works out!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I Found Out...

...what "I didn't do something bad" could be. I was cleaning the floor in the kitchen and noticed it was really quiet upstairs...I figured Henry was asleep, I finished the floor, and went up to check on him.... I heard "I didn't do something bad"...

Have you ever tried to clean Baby Oil* off a window, window sill, bed, rug, clothes and sheets?

Yeah, I forgot, you don't have isn't easy...and I think that we are going to all smell like a babies butt for the next decade, while Henry only has a hazy view of the world through his bedroom window.

*And just so you know, that was a new bottle, completely full....NICE

Oh and one more thing...


Oh wait, his birthday should be about HIM? OH...

AND yes mom I used the cake pan that you gave was hot so all the frosting was melting as I was putting it on the cake, and they really shouldn't have pictures on the front of the perfect little cake because no one unless they are a baking genius could replicate that. Wheels were falling off, stripes were dripping, and the rail road track kept coming off...

HEY I NEVER CLAIMED TO BE MARTHA. Yes that was computer yelling.
Marshall was nice enough to say: "Mom, it doesn't matter that it is ugly, it just matters that it tastes good..." She is always good for the ego that one!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Only In Internet World...

...would you imagine that similar people, living a big pond away, could discover each other through Agatha Raisin...and what’s more, who in the world ever would think we would meet in person? Perhaps I should write a thank you note to MC Beaton.

As you may remember in past posts I have commented on the couple that is traveling around the world and how I love to live vicariously through their blog. Well they have been traveling in our lovely New England area...and today I got to meet Justine and Nathan, aka “Hubby”, today as they traveled through my neck of the woods on their way to Portland.

I have to tell you it was very exciting for a few reasons:

1. I got to drop off Henry at my sisters’ house, and eat a whole sandwich and have a chat that wasn't interrupted by "did you go poopy in your pants? I can smell something bad Henry....are you sure?...awww DID" followed by awkward stares and people covering their noses trying to be discrete.

2. I got to have adult conversation

3. I got to meet people that I almost feel like I already know because I have been reading about their life for the last few months...yeah I know, It does sort of feel like stalking, but I promised them I wasn't I didn't even follow them after they left...wasn't that nice of me?*

4. I got to have adult conversation.

5. I got to hear about where they are from, and their travels, and even talk their ear off about my opinions of the USA etc... (I am sure that their ears were sore after they left.)

And lastly…

6. Yup you guessed it; I got to have an uninterrupted, lovely, adult conversation.

But most of all, and I really do mean this, they are the most lovely people. My mother always has told me that I have never met a stranger, which may be true. (I can meet someone on a plane and be scheduling a visit in 10 minutes.) But really, they were like old friends at once, I felt at ease with them straight away, and felt as though we could put our feet up on the coffee table, down a beer (or should I say a couple of pints), and chat all evening.** So here’s to blogging and making the world a very small internet cafĂ©!

*Justine, please don’t start getting worried and changing your email I really am kidding…
**I should be careful, they could be driving away to Portland, saying “Can you believe what a strange duck she was? Lets change our email quick…or she might track us down in Portland…oh heck, lets just go straight away to Canada!” (Later I will see a post where I star in “Only in America Part VI” LOL)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Per Request

My sister had sent this to me ages ago, and Then Jenny reminded me of it (in her comment on I've Been Lied To.) Sooooo, in the interest of medicine everywhere I thought I would post this.

I am sure that I will get some very disturbing hate mail from various men, but as I said before, I am not a man, just laugh... I give you "MAN COLD"

However with this, I have to say, that in the back of my brain somewhere I am a little concerned that Henry will wake up with some major malfunction of his leg, and I will have it published what a caring and concerned mother I was about the whole thing...Naahhhhhh

I've Been Lied To

I had heard through the grape vine (which right there is WAY more scientific than a study...) that women who were tortured endured more, and had a higher pain threshold...This really isn't hard for many of us who are married to believe...BUT, after today I looked it up on line, so that I could be really snarky and reference it on my blog. All I could come up with, were articles about how men have a higher threshold for pain than women… UM….they clearly have not been in my house when the stomach flu comes through…Or even just witness my 3 year old boy today!

Now hold on, I am not a man hater, at all. I am not degrading the male population as a bunch of pathetic wimps, not at all. BUT I have to argue just a bit because I have seen the difference in my house, and it ain’t the way the scientists are telling it. There is of course the fact that we could just be freaks of nature in this house, which would be a real shocker… but I doubt it.

As many of you know, there is no "sick day" for moms, or at least very few and far between, we pretty much have to tough out what ever is the affliction of the hour, and go with it. With this said, even my girls (who have been known to break the sound barrier with their screams of despair at the sight of blood after a bad spill) still manage to function with some semblance of normalcy after they have been hurt.

Today walking my girls to the bus stop, Henry tripped over his buggy boots, (which we are having a hard time prying from his molding feet) and fell on the dirt road. Now, I was totally prepared for the know that is what toddlers do when they hurt themselves. I get it. But Henry? Oh that would be too easy. The boy, rolls over and starts convulsing on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs “OOOOWWWWWWWWWW.”

I scoop him up because I am a good mom, and also because I was a little concerned that someone was going to call the police on me with the decibel of his screaming. I carry him to the end of the road where he commences screaming “I HAVE BLEET, I HAVE BLEET” (for those of you that need a Henry dictionary the translation is “I am bleeding”) I was forced to take a Band-Aid off of my finger and put it on his knee. Thankfully it wasn’t one of the ones that had been on for 4 days and was nasty, I had just changed it this morning. This calmed him for about 2 seconds.

The bus came got the girls, all the while he is screaming about blood and mayhem in the town. He insisted I carry him home because he couldn’t walk. Now, being the really sympathetic mom that I am (and knowing it was the only way I was going to get down the road with out more alarming screams) I carried him home. This was 8 this morning.

IT IS NOW 1:43, and the boy STILL WONT WALK. I have refused to carry him anymore, and resorted to just putting him to bed because clearly, if he is THIS traumatized by a scraped knee, he needs to sleep through the rest of the day, who knows, I bee might fly by him, or his toy car might fall off the table…I mean there is a whole plethora of things that could send him into a frenzied hysteria in this house!

So I think I have been lied to by the scientific community, and I am pretty sure that if Men had babies, we would have only lasted one generation after the word traveled…”Dude, you DO NOT want to go there, the human race isn’t worth it man…”

Friday, June 6, 2008

Food for Thought

"If every U.S. Citizen ate just one meal a week (any meal) composed of locally and organically raised meats and produce, we would reduce our country's oil consumption by over 1.1 million barrels of oil every week. That's not gallons, but barrels. Small changes in buying habits can make big differences. becoming a less energy-dependent nation may just need to start with a good breakfast." -Steven L. Hopp* (I added all those know me...have to be all dramatic and stuff.)

Now you all know my "thing" about the organic craze. Not that I don't like organic foods, or food growers...all power to them, but I also am not going to tar and feather someone for using 10-10-10 on their garden...I am no stranger to miracle grow to be really honest. And I do get a little irritated with the Organic Mom Militia that seem to think that I am poisoning the world because my kids have had refined sugar in their all extremists aside...

But it does make you stop and think just a little bit about how far our food travels to get to our plate, so maybe, just maybe, (not just the organic thing,) but what if we start seeing our cafeterias get their apples locally instead of from Washington State etc... we can start to see our carbon foot get a little smaller. Just food for thought.

*a quote from "Vegetable, Animal, Miracle" You know, that book I am going on and on and on and on and on about? Yeah that one. And Steven Hopp? Well, that is the man smart enough to marry Ms. Kingsolver.

Thou Shall Prepare for the Soap Box

I just thought that I should forewarn those of you who read regularly, a really bad star alignment just occurred...I got the book on CD "Animal Vegetable Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver... and I am feeling very uneasy with my life direction.

I told my sister the other day that my life was feeling like a pair of jeans that was too tight. I can't exactly explain that in words necessarily, but if you are a woman reading this, I know that you are going "OH YEAH... I Totally get what she is talking about"

You know, they look good, and when you put them on to go out, they fit all fine, and feel good, you turn around in the mirror all: "Damn I look HOT in these." THEN you add one bite of an appetizer and a beer, and then you are about to bust out of them. Excusing yourself to the bathroom about every other minute just to unbutton them and reassure your belly that you promise to set it free later if it will just be agreeable for the next hour or so? As you are returning home, and your butt is having the prickles from the lack of circulation, you are making all sorts of deals with yourself about exercise and eating right if you can just make it home before something falls off.

When you finally return home and look at yourself in these jeans, that seemed all neat and perfect when you put them on…you are NOT impressed. You have rolls coming out from every space that the pants aren't, and they are making you gassy. This is not to say that I blame my gassiness on my life...but rather, somehow I think that my life fit me perfect at one point, and now...well now, I have muffin top, and my ass is asleep...literally and figuratively.*

So you wonder, "What is the nutcase talking about now?" Well let me fill you in a little. I can be a fairly laid back sort of person... (My sister is choking on her coffee right about now) But seriously, don't listen to her, I can be, I really can be. For the most part, I look at most things and confuse the hell out myself with my own ability to vacillate. Being so indecisive, and putting myself in the shoes at every angle, making picking a direction for my life nearly impossible, and it ends up looking like that sign I posted a few days ago. This is, until I become passionate about something.

It is the moments when my face lights up, I look at Jamie and I say things like "Let’s move back to New England," that even he knows, just to go with it until I come down from my soapbox. Sometimes I do, and other times? Well, we are living in Maine, so I guess you can see where I am going with this.

I am passionate about Agriculture. I am fanatical in the idea that every child, whether they live in the Bronx or in North Country Vermont, should have an education in Agriculture. I believe that it is as important as all the other things that we are force fed in our early education...I believe that it is more important in fact, than many things that we are learning. I believe that this is even more important in this generation with a Very Real food crisis approaching our country and our world.

And now, my passion for Agriculture has been combined with Barbara Kingsolver’s writing in “Animal Vegetable Miracle.” I love Barbara Kingsolver. I think I would totally be her stalker if I had it in me. Her writing is like poetry, and listening to her read it? Just as good... (This is why I read all her books, and then tried to find them on tape so that I could hear her read them too.) I have read everything she has written in Fiction, and am now working on Nonfiction. When this book passed through my radar I had to jump…with this long ass post written…please look forward to more of my Agricultural soap-boxing soon…Just a warning.

So rock on my fellow gardeners, and enjoy the long soaking rain…my beans really needed it.

*Yes I really DID put that much thought into that analogy BEFORE I even said it, and yes I am pretty clear on the fact that I have a lot of strange things going on in this head of mine, and I probably shouldn't be telling the world about it!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Dreaded Chemistry Set

OK so, sometimes I feel like Jim Carey in Me Myself and Irene when it comes to my kids. Not that I am so unbelievably blind that I don't realize they aren't mine... (They have too much of my sarcastically bad attitude for that to be true!)

But the fact that they are really smart...smarter than me*, and sometimes I find them plotting in the basement and I am pretty sure that they are coming up with a sinister plan to take over the town...but I am not smart enough to read their equations on the chalk board, so I just pretend it is just a nice game of school and Lego's.

So anyway, my middle child, (whom I send to school with a disclaimer saying "will resort to bad things if not kept busy,”) wants a Chemistry set for her birthday. So, now I am in the great quandary of: hmmm do you give her the Chemistry set and risk the house blowing up? Or deny her interest in science and pay for years of therapy when she is trying desperately to "find herself" because her true passions were denied at 7 years old.

Hard choice. Although, it could be a positive thing, maybe she will develop a cure for teenage angst, or a magic potion that makes your husband and son put the seat down after they pee. WHO knows? It could all be for the greater good.

Although, I may need to put a sign in my front yard with this picture saying:

Middle child too smart for her own good experimenting with Chemistry in the basement...
enter yard at own risk

*Well let me amend the smart thing...I am still smarter than the boy. Which I shouldn't be so proud of considering he just turned 3...give him time, and I will be a bumbling idiot to him too!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

An Encouraging E-mail from My Uncle

Pie -

I heard this quote on an NPR interview of writer Isabel Allende: "You need to have a weird family to be a writer."

WOW! You're as good as in the writer's guild!*

love, UD**

Thanks for the encouragement UD. It is good to know that I shall never be short of something to write about...see, it IS like therapy!

*He DOES understand that he is part of that family right??? So I guess he is free game now! OOOWAAHAAAAAA (evil laugh)

**UD is short for Uncle Duncle...the very clever name that I slapped him with at a young age.

Makes Sense

So this is about how I am feeling these days about what direction my life should be that a problem???

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

June 3rd The Little Man's Debut

Three years ago on this date I was the size of a water buffalo, waddling around, cussing every obstetrician in the local area for not having realized that when you are 6 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and on your third child, you walk around worried that you will be featured in the headline:

"Woman Drops Child Out of Her Pant Leg at Local Bank"

After about a week of my incessant whining, and swelling extremities, my husband called in desperation. I think he was ready to deliver the baby himself just to get his wife back. When they finally talked to me, they decided that inducing me would not be a bad idea. I think that it was, perhaps, oh I don't know, 30 minutes and 1 push, and the boy was here. Even the Doctor was a little surprised, and apologetic for not having believed me that Henry was already climbing out before I even got there!

As you may have guessed this would be my Sons 3rd birthday. So I thought that I should dedicate at least one entry as a Henry Tribute Post. So here it goes:

Alright little man, I never have really understood what was going on in that head of yours. You definitely have a time of your own. You were born, walked, talked, and understood things when you wanted to, and really could have cared less about other people’s time frames.

Your wild blond hair that seems to never rest, is kind of like you. Every morning it is sticking out like every strand was trying to make a run for it in the middle of the night, and it makes me smile every time you wake me up by opening my eyes for me. I think it probably fits your personality, a mind of its own, just like you!

On one hand you are everything I was warned about with having a boy...on the other, you are much more than I ever bargained for. You are so typical in so many ways, I mean, a lawn mower can make you comatose and sit drooling while you watch it mow, as though it was the best thing on earth. Yet at the same time, you can play with your “lovey bears” like a true mother, rocking them to sleep and putting them to bed. You are my empathetic little charmer, learning how to wield your power a little more every day, a definite Gemini.

Emotional and Demanding; in one respect a true young soul, with so much impatience to just get on with it, and yet sometimes, a seemingly old soul with wisdom, that just marinates in your surroundings and then reminding us about all the happenings months later. I swear you have the brain of an elephant, and will probably be able to have a list starting at your 1 year birthday for your therapist…I on the other hand will have blocked all of this out! (Except for your smile and hugs!)

Particular to a fault, yet free spirited....My son, you are a juxtaposition...a study for sure. You keep me on my toes, and keep me madly loving you, even though you are loving making me mad!

Monday, June 2, 2008

A Little Brighter Note

On a happier note, my flowers are starting to bloom! These Irises are actually from my yard in NH where I grew up. My mother planted them when I was little (I will not refer to how old that makes them) When they moved to NC they dug some up and gave them to my grandmother. When she moved to be closer to my sister and I here in Maine, she dug them up and gave them to us. So my sister and I now have yards that have heirloom irises from our childhood. So as soon as they bloom I take pictures of them, because, well, they make me happy! (yeah I know, it doesn't take much does it?)

And then there is the Maine Lupine....which just makes me smile too!

Monday's, Politics, and Melancholy

I am not feeling very peppy this morning, but then, it is Monday morning, which is my personal Hell. You know, everyone comes home for the weekend and destroys the house. On Monday morning they all grab the lunch I make them and run out of the house to leave me with the aftermath of a chaotic weekend. Not to mention I worked part of the day on Saturday at the library so that just makes it worse.

I really think that sometimes I leave the house and the 4 other people in my family have a pow-wow about how to completely send me over the edge...

"OK So girls, you leave the markers out and let Henry draw on the carpet with them, and oh, don't forget to leave little Lego's all over the house, so she can step on them with her bare feet...she loves that. I will make lunch and leave an entire years worth of crumbs on the counter, and get the mail and separate the Newspaper into as many sections as possible to leave it, then I will take all the shoes from the mud room and leave one from each pair in every room in the house....Henry? You make sure that you poop in your underwear at least twice as soon as she gets home... OK ...BREAK!"

While I am sure it really isn't as sinister as that...I still have days where I have my doubts.

But it isn't just the chaos in the house that has me a little down. We noticed that two houses near us were looking a little, well, abandoned lately. You know the unkempt yard etc... I am not all that particular about that kind of stuff; it just made me wonder a little because one of the houses had a dad that just returned from Iraq. We found out that they had been foreclosed on, both of those houses. This is becoming common place around here. I cannot tell you how many houses I have seen under foreclosure lately.

While I understand that it isn't even someone I know really well or anything... they have three kids like I do, they have 2 that are coming up on college age, and I remember them being so excited to move into that house a couple years ago. It just sort of was a sign of the times in this country. That economic squeeze that seems to be squeezing even the middle class... (What is left of it.) And it made me sad.

The news on TV makes all of this so sterile, it all is about charted graphs, and trends. But there are people loosing everything they have. People, who have worked hard their entire lives, have lived fairly conservatively, and they are not making it anymore. It isn't a bar graph when a family goes under, it is children and parents, and their lives that will now be different, and will have an effect on the direction their lives will now travel. It just makes me angry and disheartened.

So, while I am cleaning up today, I am thankful that I have a house to clean up. And I will think about those who are loosing theirs...there just has to be a better way out there...Here's hoping for a better day in November!