The Firing Squad

OK, so in what seems like a moment of temporary insanity, I was talked into running for the new school board...or new RSU board as it happens.

No one is running against me, and it is a job that no one wants…so needless to say, if I don’t get elected, I am ending my political career right here!

Last night they had a “meet the candidate night.” This would be where they put you on TV and ask you poignant questions about your vision for the schools and the future of the RSU…yeah…I know…what was I thinking????

All was well until half way through I looked down and realized that the “snack” I had for dinner in between work (my illustrious library sub career) and this meeting had fallen on my sweater. I tried to zip up my cardigan a little, but it still showed. I decided that the cameras weren’t close up anyway, no big deal… wrong…as I discovered later I was in the picture the whole time and that it was very close up and focused on my fidgeting.

Then my tights kept catching on the wooden desk, and I got a splinter in my thigh half way through the questioning…there is no dainty way to get a splinter out of your leg, much less address the situation in a skirt in front of everyone. I hunched a bit to try and make my legs fit under the desk a little, but then realized that the cameras were on me and I was all slumped in my chair looking like a lump of oatmeal, not to mention the 10 pounds that were being added to my already 20 pound over the limit butt.

This was a lot to think about when you are trying to answer questions about our children’s futures.*

By the time I was done I felt like a 5 year old with my feet swinging from the chair out side the principals office in trouble for smacking someone in the head with a truck…(not that that ever happened…Ok, so it did. But Jason Seaver TOTALLY deserved it, because he put gum in my hair during circle time and also called me a ski slope nose…which if you have ever seen me…I totally don’t have…it is more like a witches nose…with a lump in the middle, but that was from an unfortunate accident with a pillar in front of my high school…)

I made it through the questions, fairly unscathed and since no one wants this job anyway. I suppose now, this wise assed, snarky, mom is going to be on a school board…I guess you may want to take that as a warning for those of you in my area…run, run like the wind I tell you!

* Rest assured, I was a teacher in my past life, and the three kids in my house keep telling me I am their mother, so I promise, some good will come from this debacle I have gotten myself into.