Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Lessons I have Learned this Winter

1. Never say that it can't get worse...because then it will,

2. Never be thankful that your family has only had the head cold flu, not stomach flu, because then the stomach flu feels challenged and will come after you and your loved ones with a vengence only seen in the movie 300

3. Believe your children when they say that their stomachs hurt at bedtime. It could be just a ploy to stay up later, but having your kids stay up a few minutes later is much better than cleaning projectile vomit off your entire stairwell and front door.

4. A 12 hour drive can always be made longer and more harrowing in ways you never imagined.

5. 80 or so inches of snow in a winter, leads to a state of mind only seen in "The Shining." Even the nicest person in the world starts to get surly when they are trapped for 3 months at a time with their three kids in the house with sickness.

6. Snow is really pretty in November, gets you in the Christmas Spirit in December, expected in January, dreaded in February, resented like hell in March, and can spur homicidal tendencies in April….I am just warning you all!

7. Who ever decided that TV was the Devil, did not live in Maine in the Winter with three kids trapped in their house by a militant germ Jihad.

8. Don't believe what people say about girls being moody, and melodramatic...they clearly have never had a 2 year old boy, who throws himself with a sigh onto the couch only to whine incessantly for the next 2 days about not feeling well, and could you rub his tummy. My girls just suck it up.

9. I believe that senility is simply a mechanism to forget these parts of life...hey look there’s a chickadee on the bird feeder, what was I saying? Oh ... I love oatmeal...really I do, um…what was the question?

10. Everyone says you will survive, thousands of people before you have, in worse circumstances...which makes me just think that the past generations were just dumb, and frankly, I don't want to hear about it!

1 comment:

The Rabid Outdoorsman said...

After having to expend a vacation day last week just to be able to get out of my 600 feet of driveway through the fallen trees and heaps of snow I want nothing more than this expansive hell of winter to come to an end. :)

All work and no play makes me a dull boy, All work and no play makes me a dull boy, All work and no play makes me a dull boy, All work and no play makes me a dull boy, All work and no play makes me a dull boy . . .