I May be Exploding

I have heard about people just sort of instantaneously combusting...and I am wondering if I am gearing up to do just that. Like one day I will be hanging out in my garden minding my own business and then pop…up in flames, and burn down my whole pea crop!



Hey, it could happen...



I noticed about a couple of weeks ago that my heart in the past has decided to pretend that it is on a roller coaster. OK, so I get that this could be a tad unsettling, I have to be honest and say that I am not at all concerned about it. If you knew the schedule and the people I have been dealing with lately your heart would be on a Bungee Jump too

But alas, my husband has decided that I am going to pop off in the middle of the night so I had to call my Dr, and say:


“My husband is making me call because he thinks my heart is going to blow up.” The nurse just laughed, (At least my doctor’s nurse has a sense of humor.)


But now I have to go in tomorrow and give MORE BLOOD, which we all know how that turns out, and then get an EKG on Monday…yeah, I am not thrilled with him right now.

I have a better solution; I think that if they just gave me a Dr Excuse for exhausting people I would be fine.


Wouldn't that be great? Some idiot emails me, completely uninformed throwing accusations about ruined school systems, and idol threats of moving, and I don’t have to respond. I could just scan my Doctor’s note and email it to them.

“Pie has my permission to ignore the following: irrational, hateful, manipulative, passive aggressive or otherwise STUPID people. These types of people can in fact result in her exploding.”

I really think that this could be the answer. Then at School Board meetings when things get tense and nasty, I can just respond…

“I am sorry, I have a Doctors notice about that, and I cannot at this time respond to you. Perhaps my prescription won’t be renewed and you can address this with me in a month.”

I am going to ask on Monday!