Thursday, April 24, 2008

Disturbing conversations you really didn't need to hear

In a conversation about the squirrels that seem to be eating my parents house, we had a lovely revelation.

Side Note: Yes, squirrels are eating my parents house. I have never seen anything like it. They live in a brick house, yet the squirrels seem to have waged a war against the wood trim around the windows and the door frames. Having not seen them, I can only imagine what these demented squirrels must look like.

There has to be some kind of explanation for this. Perhaps they are into hallucinogens and think that their house is some kind of giant nut house... (I really shouldn't have typed that because that is leaving my parents wide open for some of my in a nut house....but I am feeling somewhat nice today, and well, I need a place to sleep tonight!)

Me: "So what are you going to do?" (about the possessed squirrels)
Mom: "I don't know."
Dad: "I am going to shoot the sons of bitches!"
Me: "NO, seriously dad, what are you going to do?"
Dad: again with the shooting of the squirrels....
Me: Feeling a little protective of the wood rats, "Well if you are going to shoot them you had better eat them." Now, why I thought that this was going to deter him I don't know.
Dad: "I wouldn't eat those things for anything."
Me: "Come on, you are from foot hills of Appalachia, isn't that in your blood or something?"
(Now mind you, I said this tongue in cheek. I am not insulting people from that area, as my family is from that area. I was only teasing....I would not condone the eating of squirrels, which is why I was a little floored to hear: )
Mom: "Well your mother would....she loves squirrel"
(me sitting there horrified picturing my grandmother turning a little squirrel on a spit)
Dad: "No not anymore, she ate 5 of them in one sitting when she was pregnant and got sick, so she can't eat them anymore."

Me: look of disgust on my face, mouth hanging open...and silence falls over the table...
Jamie: (to the rescue) "What about Rabbit?"

This was when I just said "awwwww come ON!" and everyone laughed.

*I would like to note that this is WHY I was a vegetarian for so you blame me?
**I would also like to discourage anyone from getting upset at this conversation....I love animals, so there is no malice here.

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