I just want you to know that I was so excited the other day when I was mentioned on another blog*...other than Leila's...(because if I am really honest, it was all because of her that it was even mentioned) I called my mom.
My mom is an English teacher, the consummate instructor of literature and well...just plain old good English in general. She was very happy for me, but suggested that I might ought to quit saying "freaking" in my posts, and perhaps tighten up my writing if other people are going to start reading it.
I did the typical teenager response, because somehow I cannot seem to loose that tone with her no matter how old I get, "OH MOOOOMM, it is just my voice....it is how I talk, I am just being sarcastic and snarky"
This really came as no surprise to her, as she had many a meal with me that ended in either laughter or expulsion from the table...it all depended on how well the jokes or teasing went over. But I think secretly, as much as she loves me, there still is that English teacher looking up to the heavens and saying "Are you serious? Could you just give me one that likes to write, AND can do it in proper form????"
It is so unfortunate for her to have me as a daughter, because if you read my profile, you have realized that, well, I can't spell...and even worse, if you have read my blog you may notice that I have a real problem with run-on sentences. You know the ones that go on and on and on with little ...'s to keep them going longer. I use caps when I shouldn't, and I put commas where they shouldn't go, and forget them where they should.
I am surprised that Leila, who has a thing about punctuation, hasn't felt the urge to stab me through the eye with The Merriam-Webster Concise Handbook for Writers. Which believe it or not, sits at my computer along with the Merriam-Webster Dictionary of English Usage, The Stylebook and Libel Manual, and the Basic English Revisited: A student Handbook. All of which were much loved presents at various times from my mom, in an attempt to make my writing better...
I am not bashing my mom, I really am not...those of you who know me, know, I am one of her biggest fans. I am just feeling sort of bad for her. I mean here she has this wonderful grasp of the English language, great at Literature, and way too smart to be my mom.
To add insult to injury, I force her to read my blog. If she doesn't, I confront her with analytics data, (which is how I know when she doesn't, because up until recently she was the only Greensboro resident reading my blog,) and quiz her on the most recent entries to see if she knows what I am talking about. And just like a mom, she faithfully tortures her self through my "freakings" and "OK's" and the thousands of ...'s, because she is a dutiful mom.
However, after writing this, I remember her saying "OH great, now you are going to make fun of me on your blog," and worrying about it...of course the teenager in me said "OH MOOOOMMM, I will not."
So now, I will say that I have a little fear a little going to her house this week, because after she reads this, I may be greeted with "I want my freaking books back and ...." But I doubt it.
So heres to you mom i am sorry that i rambel so much about nothing and i promise that i will try harder to not run on my sentences and i will try to spell a little better and i may even reference all those wonderful books you gave me because i know that you believe in me and damn it...oops i mean and goodness gracious that means a freaking lot to me...and i love you and thank you for reading my blog even though i think that it pains you as you recognize that i am no erma bombeck but just remember that you did break me of having the maine accent so at least you have one thing in your corner love you see you on monday if you will let me in the door.
(after reading that, her head is going to pop off...and Leila's might too! BAD pie BAD BAD pie.)
*if you click on the blog link to Fusenews and go about half way down, you will find the entry about pie. I now have this one on my reader, because well, I am just so ... freaking excited!