Thursday, May 8, 2008

Allergic Reactions

I seem to have this problem. I have moved to the black fly capital of the fact, I am fairly sure that the mosquito and the black fly are currently in litigation with the chickadee about who is better suited to be the state bird of Maine. I grew up in NH so it isn't like I haven't had my problems with black flies my whole life...however...

As I have gotten older, and clearly my body is starting to deteriorate while I am still being housed in it, I have developed a rather unsightly allergic reaction to black fly bites. They bite me and the next two hours the bite swells to the size of my thigh....well not that big, perhaps my calf, but still? it is freaking big!

So watching the torturous softball game of my eldest last night I got bitten right on my pinkie finger. Now, normally I would just kind of get irritated and know that I am up for a distressing few days with my hand...but now I am pretty sure that there is some sort of conspiracy among a black fly terrorist group that seems to have waged war against my hands. This is the third...yes THIRD year in a row, that I have been bitten on the same place, on the same finger...IN A ROW I tell ya!!!

And tonight I am going to an opening of an Italian restaurant that my husband was the engineer for...nice...I hope no one asks me to pass something to them. They might never eat again after my baseball glove hand with its bright red, hot exterior, skin stretched to the point of stretch marks or splitting, passes them the salt. I can picture the whispers now...

Maybe I will take a bite of my food and throw myself on the floor holding my hand.
"My Hand, My Hand...does this food have oregano in it? AGHHHGGGGGHHHH" and pass out.

I don't' think that the pink slip in my husbands box would be that funny though. Maybe I will just decorate it and pretend it is a glove like Michael Jackson wore....HEY, I am a product of the 80's.

I suppose that it could always be worse...I could have gotten bitten on my already prominent nose!

1 comment:

Justine said...

Total sympathy coming your way! I, too, am allergic to a biting critter although I've yet to narrow it down to a certain species. When we were in Belize I woke up one morning to find I'd been bitten on my eyelid and top lip. Now I know what I'll look like if I succumb to the urge to have badly applied lip-plumping surgery. Then yesterday morning here in NYC, where I thought I'd be safe, I woke up with two bites on my right cheek (face, not derrière) which has caused my eye to swell up so it looks like hubby's been beating me. Not a good look!